a joy attack

My physical immune system is, I have to say, fairly magnificent. I rarely fall sick. Others around me suffer from colds, flu, allergies, and from still worse ailments. I enjoy excellent health nearly all of the time. Indeed, my health is so constant, I tend to behave as though it were a moral achievement of mine.

Emotionally, things are quite different. Though I try for constancy there, too, I do fall prey to bouts of despondency and apathy. While the emotional malady is acute, I try to treat myself gently, as one who were really a little unwell. Much more difficult to endure, however, are the attacks of cheerfulness. Sometimes I feel so pleased, so cheerful, so enticed by the possibilities of living, that I feel I simply cannot bear it. As soon as the warning signs appear, worry creeps in among the overwhelming sense of delight: What is wrong with me? Something terrible is about to happen! It's no good to Pollyanna one's way through life--life is a vale of tears, and nothing good comes from forgetting it!

I currently suffering an attack of joy. All the signs are there: cheerfulness, anticipatory delight, a bounce in my step, an impulse to behave with generous kindness toward others. This could be serious. I am trying a new treatment. As I have not yet died of any experience of emotional intensity, and as my habitual responses have not cured me of them, I am going to experiment with enduring them until I become inured to them. Instead of medicating myself with doses of distracting media, excessive napping, preemptive shopping, or with quantities of wine or tea, I will inoculate myself with joy.